Driving A popular TV programme in England, called Police! Camera! Action!, shows police videos of car drivers breaking the law. A typical item goes like this. We see a rainy motorway. One of the cars is going much too fast. The commentary says, 'It is wet. Most drivers are driving sensibly. But look at this idiot!'. The car skids and crashes. 'Fortunately', says the commentary, 'the driver was not injured. But he lost his licence.' The programme appeals to the English sense of order. We think the Germans drive far too fast, the French are selfish, the Italians dangerous, and all other countries suicidal. But - apart from the one occasional idiot - we believe that we English are considerate, careful and safe drivers. Even the idiot lives to learn his lesson. The programme reinforces this. In Europe, a driver who flashes his lights at you is warning you to get out of his way. In England, a driver who flashes his lights at you is stopping to let you go in front of him. This difference causes problems for foreign drivers in England and vice versa. Queueing In England we like to queue. If we are in a queue, we often stop to let other cars come in front of us. Even one car will form an orderly queue at traffic lights. Two-thirds of all journeys from home are made by car, most of them under five miles. The average commuting speed by car in London is only 12 miles per hour. For most people, it would be quicker to walk, cycle, or take the bus or train. But we like queueing so much, we prefer to go by car. Registration numbers In many countries, car registration numbers clearly show the home town of the car. Not in England. We are not interested in where the car comes from. We want to know how rich the driver is. So the number plate shows the age of the vehicle. Every 1 August, a new prefix letter comes into force. At a glance, we can tell how old the car is - therefore, how expensive it was, and by implication, how much the driver earns. 'R123ABC' for example is brand new and the driver therefore rich. 'E123ABC' is ten years old and the driver poor. The idea goes further. Registration numbers which spell interesting words are bought and sold. If you see a car with a number such as 'TOM 123' you can be sure it is owned by someone called Tom. He has paid several thousand pounds for this number alone, and is therefore very very rich. Car = personality We can tell also a lot about a person by the car they drive. For example, Minis are owned by nurses. Volvos are driven by people who wear green Wellington boots. They care about the environment so much, they will drive 30 miles just to take one bottle for recycling. Pop idols and soccer stars drive expensive sports cars and have the windows tinted because they are worried about not being recognised. Enormous, four wheel drive, rugged, off-road jeeps are used by the middle classes to go shopping at city centre supermarkets. Accidents There are 25 million vehicles on British roads. That figure will double by 2025. Every day, ten people are killed and a thousand people injured in road accidents. Everyone knows the solution is to reduce the number of cars on the road. Not our own car, though. We all believe that our own car is essential. It is other people who are making unnecessary journeys. Men and women Statistics here show that women drive slower than men and have fewer accidents. Men acknowledge this, but believe they are superior drivers to women because they can park better. Animals We respect the law in England. We must report any accident involving an animal to the police. However, only a horse, cattle, ass, pig, sheep, dog, goat or mule, counts in law as an 'animal'. If you squash a cat, this is not important enough to report to the police. Nor if you collide with an elephant or plough into a herd of rhinoceros. We are also animal lovers. We feel very sorry for hedgehogs, because they curl up into a ball when in danger, and often get squashed by cars. So we will swerve to avoid a hedgehog. If this means we hit a cyclist, nobody minds. Except the cyclist. Hedgehogs are now evolving quickly. A new breed which runs from danger, is taking over. Everyone is happy about this. Especially cyclists. Driving on the left We think we are unique because we drive on the left. This shows that we are an independent and individual nation. In fact, many big countries also drive on the left (India, Australia, several African nations, and Japan, of course). But we don't want to know that. We just want to be different from Europe and America. When Sweden changed from driving on the left to driving on the right thirty years ago, we were delighted. The only place you can legally drive on the right in England is in front of the Savoy Hotel in London. This is so that taxi passengers can get out directly into the hotel entrance. This shows another important English principle. Driving is like everything else in England. If you are rich, you can change the law to suit you.

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