Holidays A nation's holidays tell you a lot about its people. Americans typically have only two weeks' holiday a year. That is why they try to cram in as much as possible. (We imagine Americans rushing round Europe, saying "Let's see. Today is Tuesday, so this must be Belgium".) Australians, on the other hand, often take a year or two off to travel the world and go to exotic places. (In fact, this usually means working in a pub in Earl's Court, London.) In England, our attitudes to leisure time have been shaped by the class system. Upper-class people did not have to work. Life was one long holiday. So, in order not to get bored, they did exciting and challenging things, such as discovering Tutankhamun's tomb, inventing Geology, or getting lost in Antarctica. Working-class people however had little holiday. Stable hands in Yorkshire in 1900 for example had precisely one half-day off per year. Even then they couldn't escape horses: their holiday was a compulsory trip to the Races. Now, almost everyone has four weeks' holiday a year, sometimes a little more. There are various kinds of holiday we take. These reflect the diverse attitudes of past classes. We might go on only one, or several different types, in a year. Here is your guide to them. Seaside Holiday The traditional holiday for most families in summer or on public holidays. We sit on deck-chairs which collapse at the first breath of wind. There are donkey rides on the beach, and nightclub entertainment by people who were famous 20 years ago. Children make sandcastles and then pretend to bury Dad in the sand. Sand gets in our sandwiches. It is freezing cold but people are eating ice-cream. It is cloudy but people are in swimming costumes, showing off their white flabby skin to the world. Most men are wearing a white handkerchief knotted on their head. They put it on as an improvised sun-hat, but the sun has now gone in. Other people are wearing a sailor-style hat. On the front it says 'Kiss Me Quick'. If you see someone wearing one, do not follow the instruction literally. It is only a tradition; as a nation we do not show affection. Until the 1970s a seaside holiday was always in England. Blackpool, in the north-west, is still very popular. It is a gaudy place, full of loud Britpop, bright lights, greasy fish and chips, drunken English people, Manchester United on TV in every bar, and fizzy lager. Now, many people go abroad, to Spain, Greece or Turkey. This is not because the holiday resorts there are different from Blackpool. It is because they are exactly the same - but slightly warmer. Visiting Relatives Holiday Very common with older people. They criss-cross the country in trains and coaches on cheap fares to stay with relations for a few days. In fact, for many older people, the travelling is the best part. Hard-working sons and daughters may be squeezing parents in to their busy schedule out of duty and have little time to talk. However, the train or coach is full of other people doing the same, all with time to chat. Train and coach travel can be extremely long, so do not travel this way unless you are fascinated by other people's grandchildren. Activity Holiday Favoured by 20s and 30s professional people who say they 'work hard and play hard'. A week or two doing something physical: mountain biking, sailing, windsurfing, snow-shoeing, etc. in a group of around a dozen people who we've never met before. The point about such holidays is not the activity, but the meeting of the other people, and the swopping of addresses and e-mails. We all promise to meet up again the next year because we've had such a great time, and then never contact each other again. A variation on this holiday is run by companies with names like Club 18-30. They are for young single people who want to meet other young single people in the holiday group. The main activity here is also a physical one, but requires no special equipment or instruction. Travelling Holiday Favoured by students, and professionals with longer than usual holidays. We pick an obscure country from the map, buy a 'Rough Guides' or 'Lonely Planet Guide', take a backpack, and go. We then visit all the places described as 'unspoilt' by the guide books. Unfortunately they are full of other backpackers who did exactly the same thing. Destinations come in and go out of fashion. Fashionable with English travellers have been India (1960s) Greece (1970s) Thailand (1980s) and Jordan (1990s). For 1998 the travel industry is expecting the Baltic republics and Croatia to be popular. However, because the English are so bad at languages, most of us end up going to Australia, New Zealand and America. If someone starts telling you about their fascinating trip, do not ask about the culture or the people. That is not the reason people do this sort of holiday. They do it 1) to come back with amusing stories of disasters - missed ferries, towns with no accommodation, violent gastric disorders etc. 2) to get hundreds of photographs of themselves standing in front of famous places. So don't ask to see their photos. You'll be there until Croatia is out of fashion. Non-holiday Holiday Common among the tired and overworked. Holidays are too much effort and expense to organise. So we spend a week at home and plan to do all those things like decorating the bedroom or putting up some shelves. Because our adrenaline level drops, we catch cold, and spend the week watching soap operas on TV. We recover from the cold just in time for work. Of course, if a colleague returns from a holiday, you are sympathetic with them. No-one likes coming back to work and to a big backlog of things to do, however boring or disastrous their holiday was. That, at least, is the same the world over.

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