The English and the Internet Britain is the most Internetted country in the world after the US. By the year 2000, 40 per cent of us will be connected, much more than any other European country. We were similarly quick to start using home computers in the 1980s. This demonstrates our traditional skills at adapting to new technology and ideas. Or perhaps it just proves that, while the Continentals are out chatting in the square and socialising in their pavement cafes, here it's just too cold and wet to do anything but stay indoors playing about with computers. Our image of the Internet user is no longer a spotty teenage boy in his bedroom wasting time on games, or reading web sites on trivial subjects. It is now of a responsible middle-manager (man or woman) accessing the Internet at work, talking about its exciting commercial potential, but actually wasting time on games or reading web sites on trivial subjects. The Internet is international, but that doesn't mean it will Americanise, or Europeanise, us much. Our national characteristics will remain. Suppose we describe a web site as consisting mainly of image and presentation. The Americans will still take this as a compliment, but we'll still mean it as an insult. So we can be honest, yet diplomatic. So, to avoid international misunderstandings (except when intentional) here's your guide to Internet etiquette, UK-style. E-mail Though written, the spirit of e-mail communication is closer to that of a phone call. Where Americans tend to be polite and formal, the British would be subtly adventurous. We are a small, intimate country, and we can imagine the tone of voice of the e-mail. We say things not meant to be taken too seriously, even when writing to strangers. For example, a colleague once finished off an e-mail to arrange a meeting in New York by saying 'assuming the plane doesn't crash, I'll see you in the hotel at 8pm'. His US counterpart took this at face value and e-mailed back with earnest assurances not to worry, and a list of self-calming techniques, much to everyone's amusement in the English office. An English person would probably have joined in on the joke, and suggested packing a parachute. (It would be hard to tell if either was hiding fear with a joke, or just joking; we conceal our emotions.) If you see a joke, join in. If in doubt, assume it is a joke. If you get it wrong and get your company into trouble, at least the e-mail has a big advantage over a letter or phone call: you can claim it was done by somebody else. E-mail office romance is a very popular way for us to flirt. In fact, it .is preferred to the phone (which can make people feel pressurised) and written notes (which look rather too earnest). But take care, as unlike phone calls, your promises are all stored somewhere.. Junk e-mails Every day, people around the world are bombarded with unsolicited e-mails. They usually come from Americans offering cheap golf balls, weight loss programmes, and on-line pornography. This gives us an intriguing image of them, no doubt as inaccurate as the cheap golf balls. We hate such junk e-mails in England, partly because we think of it as an invasion of privacy, but mainly because (unlike the US) we have to pay for the local phone calls involved in their delivery to us. We're not offended by the porn, but we hate the suggestion we might be fat. Newsgroups All newsgroups (web sites on various subjects and hobbies where people can post up public e-mails) degenerate into arguments sometimes. Americans tend to be confrontational and direct; the English use understatement. A message in an American newsgroup saying to the world, "Scott is such a JERK! How can he say those DUMB things?" might only be mildly insulting. A message in an English newsgroup saying, "Scott, I'm not convinced you have actually thought out your arguments quite as rigorously as one might", would be strong stuff. Home pages Americans' home pages tend to be flashy, self-confident and sometimes unapologetically bizarre. ('Hi! I'm Scott. Click here to see close-up pictures of all my body piercings...') We are much more restrained and self-deprecating. ('Hello. You have the misfortune to be at John's page. To avoid seeing some fuzzy snaps of my favourite steam trains, do not click here...') Never admit to having a home page in England. Suspect anyone who does admit to it. Company web sites Have one by all means, but never try to sell anything with it. Most English people much prefer buying from a real shop. Let the Americans make money with their web sites. We won't. We'll use it for its proper purpose: wasting our lunch hour or filling in that dark rainy evening.

Going Native main index