Finding a Partner In the old days, men would marry the proverbial 'girl next door'. Not any more. We don't spend our lives in one village these days, so we have a number of next-doors to choose from. However, rather than extending choice, this dilutes it. We took up with the girl next door to our second-year university lodgings, but left her for the girl from the neighbouring desk at work. She then ran off with the man from the flat above her, since when we have started chasing after the woman who sits beside us on the train every morning. Meanwhile, she has her eye on the man who sits opposite her in her Italian evening classÖ At least, this is the impression you'd get of English life from TV soaps, women's magazines, and office gossip. In reality, up to a third of us in England are single, spending our evenings alone with the TV and a magazine, fantasising about someone from the office. So how do we actually manage to meet potential future partners? Leaving aside childhood sweethearts and university romances, which most of us are too late for, here are the main ways: Evening classes Popular among young professionals. Colleges run dozens of courses even in the smallest towns. Language courses are a good bet and give the perfect excuse to 'meet up at the weekend to practise'. Benefits: Attendance falls off quickly as term progresses, which means you get more individual attention from the teacherÖ Disadvantages: Öbut also that the desirable people have left to practise on each other at the weekend. Tip: First lessons are sometimes free, so try several different subjects. Spotting a suitable target may inspire a hitherto unknown desire to learn car maintenance or interior design. Tell-tale signs that a couple met this way: They try to talk a foreign language to each other, but fail because they don't know the personal pronouns. They weren't covered until lesson four. Dating agency 'Dateline' is the best-known, but there are thousands of local and subject-based matchmaking agencies. Effective, but their artificial nature, and our dislike of filling forms, hurts our English pride. We're reluctant to try it - and even more reluctant to admit if that's how we met. Tell-tale signs: Hazy details and glaring discrepancies between his account and her account of how they met. Work Very common and easy. But no Italian-style serenading or grand gestures here. Merely hint to colleagues that you're available and let gossip spread the message. E-mail is the ideal way to develop that 'chance' meeting by the photocopier . Chances of success: In the short term, very good. In the long term, very bad. Office romances tend to break relationships rather than make them. Benefits: Easy excuses to spend time with your target: lunch meetings, late-night one-to-one sessions, work trips etc. Disadvantages: Hard to avoid your target if it all goes wrong. Tip: Save the e-mails in case you need the evidence later on. Tell-tale signs: They pretend to ignore each other, unconvincingly - but both look guilty when his wife calls. Holiday romances Like the holidays, they are short and great fun, but much more expensive than you expected, and however enjoyable it was, you wouldn't want to live there. Many firms such as 'Club 18-30' run Mediterranean holidays whose purpose is lots and lots of casual sex. The '18-30' is the age you must be - though we joke that it's actually the number of partners per holiday achieved by participants. Chances of success: In the short term, high. But few holiday romances survive in the long term - say more than a couple of days. Benefits: The people you go to bed with after a bottle of wine are all classy and good lookingÖ Disadvantages: Öit's the ones you wake up with that are common and ugly. Tip: Don't believe anything anyone tells you on holiday. Especially not the bit about keeping in touch afterwards. Tell-tale signs: Horrified look of one partner as the other says something that proves they actually don't know each other, or their past lives, very well at all. Small ads Increasingly popular, though few would admit to having met this way. This is the choice of professionals too busy to meet people outside work and too wise to try their luck inside work (or perhaps they've been through everyone at work). Choose the right newspaper for the image you wish to portray (e.g. Guardian, trendy and liberal; Telegraph, traditional and right-wing; local paper, homely and trustworthy; or niche sexual practice magazine). Scan the 'Personal' ads and either reply (usually leaving a taped telephone message) or compose and send in your own. Chances of success: Anecdotal evidence suggests that 90% of ads are put in by married cheats, pathological liars, or deeply unattractive individuals. Benefits: Ideal way to meet someone who shares your embarrassing personal proclivities - bondage, transvestism, or train spotting for example. Disadvantages: The ads use many mysterious abbreviations (WLTM, 'would like to meet' etc.). You may fix up a date with someone you think is a fan of television just like you, only to find to your horror that the kind of TV they like is transvestism. Or vice-versa. Tip: Don't believe words in the ad such as 'good looking', 'solvent' or 'unmarried'. Tell-tale signs: The couple giggle conspiratorially when certain everyday words are mentioned. You later discover the word has a special meaning to bondage freaks, transvestites, or train spotters. Friends of friends at dinner parties The easiest to organise. Again, simply mention to a friend that you're fed up being alone (or to repeat over and over again that you enjoy being alone: the effect is the same). Before long you'll be invited to dinner with your friend and your friend's friend, in a hopeful piece of matchmaking. With the typically English sense of compromise, this has neither the formality or potential embarrassment of a prearranged blind date, nor the noisy, disorganised free-for-all of a disco or town pub. Chances of success: Very small. Invariably you have little in common with your intended target, but everyone's too polite to say. Benefits: You get a good dinner. Disadvantages: English etiquette means you now have to invite everyone back for dinner at your place sometime. At least you can get your own back by 'matchmaking' them in return. Tip: Be nice to the friend's friend and stay in touch - you never know, maybe they have a sibling, next-door-neighbour, or friend more suitable to you. Tell-tale signs: Not needed. The rare couples who actually did meet this way will proudly tell you that's how they met, this being the most legitimate way to have met someone. In fact, they'll probably tell you that's how they met whatever the truth.

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